We live in a world that is constantly judging us, a world that bombards us with images of perfection, making it all too easy to turn that judgment inward. For many women, this creates a relentless battle with their own minds and bodies. But what if the key to breaking free wasn't a new diet or a quick fix, but a profound conversation with yourself?
For Kausar Rasul, a Certified Nutrition Coach, the turning point in her own struggles came not from a new regimen, but from looking inward. "If you don’t change what’s happening in your head, it’s nearly impossible to change your body or your life," she states. Her story is a powerful testament to how healing your mindset is the first and most crucial step.
The Cycle of Pressure and Disordered Eating
Kausar’s battle with disordered eating began in her early teens, fueled by societal pressure and pervasive diet culture. "I felt like my whole identity was how I looked," she recalls, explaining how she internalized the belief that her worth was tied to her appearance. This led to a painful cycle of binging and dieting that followed her for years. After her pregnancy, facing severe injuries and weight gain, she knew she needed a lasting change and began a two-year healing journey.
Finding a Therapist in a Diary
In a moment of reflection after her daughter was born, Kausar returned to an old friend: her journal. At a time when she felt isolated, it became her confidante. "My diary, my journal became my therapist," she shares.
Here’s why journaling was so effective:
It Makes Thoughts Tangible: Seeing your thoughts on paper makes them real and separate from yourself. "It's like, oh, this is really happening to me. This is something that I'm saying to myself," Kausar explains.
It Challenges Your Inner Critic: Journaling allowed her to question the harsh things she was telling herself. She would ask, "Would I say this to my best friend?". The answer was always no, highlighting the cruelty of her inner critic.
It Fosters Self-Compassion: A pivotal exercise for Kausar was writing a love letter to her body, thanking it for all it had done, including carrying her daughter. This act of gratitude was a powerful way to reframe her perspective.
The Mindset-First Approach to Health
Today, as co-founder of the BFF Method, Kausar and her business partner Doucky help thousands of women over 40 lose weight sustainably without giving up cultural foods or joy. She has seen how mindset challenges, stemming from media messages, societal expectations, and unresolved experiences, are the biggest hurdles.
"A lot of the mindset challenges I see in women come from a mix of influences messages we've absorbed through media, unresolved childhood experiences, and societal expectations," she notes.
In her coaching program, the practical information is provided through a portal and app. This frees up coaching calls to focus on the "deeper mindset work," using techniques rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, affirmations, and self-awareness practices.
A significant tool of self-sabotage is the scale. That morning number can trigger a cascade of negative thoughts. Kausar offers a powerful reframe: "What if we take pictures and measurements for fat loss and we use the scale just to show gratitude for your existence?".
Your Path to Going Inward
Kausar believes that despite societal progress, women carry an immense burden, and the restorative practices of mindfulness and self-connection have been lost. "As progressive as we are, we’ve also gone backwards centuries," she says. "The rituals and practices of mindfulness, being in nature, and connecting with oneself are almost non-existent."
Her advice is to stop, breathe, and go inward. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, and these thoughts dictate our actions, words, and even what we eat. "If you're not taking a moment to prime your thoughts, then you are living in a rut."
Here are some practices to help you prime your thoughts for a healthier, happier life:
Make time to pray.
Walk in nature without headphones and just listen to yourself.
Practice genuine gratitude.
Use affirmations to guide your thoughts. A favorite of Kausar's is: "I am exactly where I need to be. There is a purpose behind this life, this day and this moment."
Ultimately, the journey to a healthier body begins with a kinder mind. "Change your thoughts about yourself to change your body."
Kausar Rasul is a Certified Nutrition Coach and co-creator of the BFF Method, which helps women over 40 achieve sustainable health. She is the co-host of the Get Fit in Your 40s podcast. You can find her on Instagram at @become.fit.forever and online at www.bff.zone. For further listening, she recommends the 7-minute talks with Jay Shetty on the Calm app and the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.
Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.
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A Reminder for You
If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
About the Creator
Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:
Seminars
Interactive workshops
1:1 and group intuitive readings
Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)
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