Hey friend,
Let’s have a real conversation today.
Not about strategy or productivity or hustle.
But about something softer. Something sneaky. Something most of us carry silently, but rarely talk about out loud:
comparison.
You know that moment, it could be a scroll through Instagram or hearing a friend’s good news, when your heart does a little dip and your inner voice whispers, “Why not me?”
That’s comparison creeping in.
And if you’ve felt that lately, I want you to know:
You’re not alone, and you’re not broken.
You’re human.
But here’s the hard truth I’ve learned:
If we let it go unchecked, comparison can sabotage our confidence, steal our joy, and paralyze us from taking the very actions that would move us forward.
The Trap of Comparisonitis
When I first started my business, I used to look at other women online—those with polished brands, perfect lighting, seemingly endless success—and feel this ache in my chest.
They must have some secret, I thought.
They must know something I don’t.
Why am I so behind?
That inner dialogue? It wasn’t inspiring me, it was draining me.
I didn’t realize it then, but I was caught in what I now call “comparisonitis.”
And it’s more contagious than we think.
You see someone’s highlight reel, maybe they’re on a retreat, launching a course, getting published, or just radiating happiness—and instead of celebrating them, something in you shuts down.
That something is your inner critic, stirred up by a distorted narrative:
"They’re winning, so I must be losing."
But life isn’t a zero-sum game.
And someone else’s success doesn’t mean you’re failing.
What Comparison Actually Does
Let’s name it for what it is:
It chips away at your self-esteem.
Especially in the areas where you already feel uncertain or unqualified.It distorts your perception.
You’re not comparing your real life to theirs. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to their edited highlight reel.It delays your progress.
When your eyes are on someone else’s lane, you drift out of your own and crash into doubt, procrastination, or burnout.It creates resentment and isolation.
You start feeling disconnected from others’ joy, which makes you pull away… just when you need support the most.
I know this because I’ve lived it.
What Helped Me Break the Cycle
Comparison still shows up for me, it just doesn’t run the show anymore.
And that shift happened when I started doing three things consistently:
1. Awareness
I started noticing my triggers.
“Oh, I’m feeling that again, jealousy, tightness, self-doubt. Where’s it coming from?”
Awareness is powerful because it interrupts the autopilot.
It invites you to observe without judgment. And from there, you can choose again.
2. Acceptance
This was big for me. I had to accept that I was human.
That comparison wasn’t a character flaw, it was a protective response rooted in old stories of not-enoughness.
And once I accepted that it was a pattern, not a permanent truth, I could start shifting it.
3. Action
This is where the magic lives.
Every time I felt the pull of comparison, I asked myself:
👉 What is this feeling asking me to do?
Maybe it was to learn something new.
Maybe it was to take that course.
Maybe it was to rest, reset, and realign with my own vision.
But every single time, action was the antidote.
Turning Envy Into Energy
What if we stopped seeing comparison as a threat and started using it as a mirror?
That twinge of jealousy? It might just be showing you what you deeply desire.
And if someone else has it, it means it’s possible for you too.
That’s not a reason to shrink.
It’s a reason to get moving.
A Word About Social Media
Let’s also talk about boundaries.
I had to unfollow accounts that stirred up more anxiety than inspiration.
I had to cut back on scrolling when it started feeling like a measuring stick for my worth.
I reminded myself that I don’t post my struggles every day—so why would I assume anyone else does?
Everyone has a backstory. And most of us are doing the best we can behind the scenes.
You Deserve to Shine
The moment I turned inward, focused on my own lane, and started building my version of success, everything began to shift.
Instead of saying “Why not me?”
I asked, “What’s next for me?”
Instead of chasing someone else’s life,
I chose to tend to my own life, my own light.
And slowly but surely, the right people, opportunities, and abundance started flowing in.
So if you’re caught in comparison right now…
Here’s what I want you to know:
✨ You are not behind.
✨ You are not late.
✨ You are on a divine timeline uniquely designed for you.
When someone else shines, it doesn’t dim your light.
In fact, it’s proof that shining is possible.
Let it remind you of what’s available—not what’s missing.
Let it be a nudge, not a judgment.
You’re doing better than you think.
And the more you focus on your lane, your vision, and your joy—the more your life will begin to bloom in ways that are real, sustainable, and meaningful.
Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.
Book a Reading or Discovery Call
If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.
A Reminder for You
If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
About the Creator
Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:
Seminars
Interactive workshops
1:1 and group intuitive readings
Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)
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💬 I'd love to hear from you:
What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.
If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.
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